Last Saturday I had a very stimulating discussion with a friend about righteous anger. The discussion arose out of the question I'd been pondering since the previous Thursday's Peacemaker class: is there such a thing as justified or righteous anger? Sitting around a table at Keith and Ava's wedding reception, I, of course, brought the question up as light table conversation (she says, tongue firmly planted in cheek).
My husband, Brian, and our table companion, Hal, obliged my curiosity and engaged in the topic. The immediate answer was "yes!" We went the well-trodden path to Jesus overturning the tables of the moneychangers in the Temple. I think it was Debbie, Hal's wife, who brought up the question of why Jesus chose that time to overturn the tables. Surely Jesus had passed by them hundreds of times in his life. What made him do that then? Hal and Brian both immediately said they thought Jesus was trying to provoke a response. I thought "That can't be--why would Jesus provoke confrontation like that?" We went down the path of Jesus wanting to defend his Father's honor, but I kept thinking that the Father is well able to defend his own honor and, if that were the case, why would Jesus have waited to do that instead of doing it earlier when he first encountered the issue?
So we followed the rabbit trail that this was a strategic move by Jesus--not an impetuous move. He specifically chose that time to draw fire, knowing it would move him toward an inexorable outcome: his death. As I started to think about that, my perspective shifted. Maybe Jesus' angry response wasn't motivated by some kind of frustration. Maybe it came from his strategic choice to accomplish the purpose that would only happen through his death and resurrection: the reconciliation of those moneychangers and, indeed, all of humanity to God. His ultimate motivation in that "righteous anger" was love for the people he was confronting.
Wow! What a standard for determining whether or not our anger is "righteous!" It requires a sincere search of our hearts to see if there is something other than love at our core.
This week's lesson in the Peacemaker class is about conflict starting in our hearts. The premise is that unhealthy and unholy responses to conflict arise from our having "idols" in our heart that we are trying to appease. The study encourages us to work back from our angry response to where its root is in our heart. Sometimes an angry response is appropriate and rightly motivated. Often, however, when we trace a reaction back, we find that there is something at the core of our reaction that is not consistent with the character of God. It's coming from a place that isn't conformed to the image of Christ--so it's probably not righteous anger.
So, how do we deal with anger that we think might be righteous? Well, I think we do what we do with any conflict we encounter:
1. Glorify God.
I need to slow my angry response down enough to acknowledge that I want to bring glory to God in what I am thinking, feeling and doing. I need to take an honest look at whether my response will do that.
2. Get the Log Out.
The question that comes up here is: "Is there always a log?" At least in my experience, I would say "yes." It's just the nature of man. We are loggy creatures. But that's OK--God knows that about us already. I need to ask God to show me what's really in my heart.
Jeremiah 17:9-10 says: The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? "I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve."
We can't search our own hearts honestly. We need to ask God to show us what's there. My experience is that the Holy Spirit is a loving and gentle examiner. When I come to him with a true and humble heart, he is faithful to lovingly tell me the truth. Not in condemnation, but with the desire to be closer to me.
Starting with this step changes my motivation and perhaps will change the way I approach the issue that I feel angry about. Most likely, it will clean out my ears so I can hear the Holy Spirit's direction about how to approach the conflict in a more constructive way.
Chapter 5 in the Peacemaker book offers some practical steps in how to work with the Lord in examining your heart.
3. Gently restore.
One thought I had when during our weekend discussion was "I wonder if Jesus had talked with the Moneychangers before." Had he tried to engage them in a more gentle way? I don't know, but it would seem to be consistent with his character to have done so. Were any of them there when Jesus, as a 12-year-old boy, had engaged the teachers of the law in discussion? Perhaps even some of them were among the crowds that were following him and listening to his teachings. Maybe some of them shared the loaves and fishes with the rest of the 5,000.
4. Go and be reconciled.
Jesus provided the ultimate means of reconciliation--he laid down his life to do it. His angry actions were part of that process, but he was well aware that those actions would draw fire that was designed to bring about his death--not the death of the moneychangers. Is that the motivation I have as I engage in "righteous anger?" Am I willing to draw fire to save my perceived enemy? Am I seeing who the enemy really is? Will my actions result in the other person receiving life even if I have to die? Or am I just spewing invectives and condemning my "adversary" in the name of righteousness? Is what I'm spitting out really judgement rather than love? Is it sowing seeds of discord and hatred? Or seeds of reconciliation and restoration?
Sometimes we think of peacemaking as mamby-pamby (at least I do), but when I think of what it took for Jesus to make peace between God and man, I have to reconsider that concept. What Jesus did took real guts. He wasn't a mamby-pamby-nancyboy. He refused to let others control his agenda. He controlled his responses and used angry responses as a tool to move toward reconciliation, not as a means of intimidation to hurt or get revenge. If we are motivated by true righteous anger, our actions should be the same--not a hotheaded reaction to something that thwarts our goals or desires, but as a considered response motivated by and designed to promote reconciliation.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
What do you do with justifiable anger?
I am leading a study on biblical peacemaking at our church on Thursday evenings. This past Thursday, someone raised a question about whether there is such a thing a justifiable anger. The term he used was "rage" and he related an account of feeling so frustrated with the political issues of our day that he wrote a scathing letter (maybe more than one) to the object of his rage.
Here are some thoughts from people who have much more graveman in terms of theological and psychological matters than I do:
Selfish anger is the negative emotion we feel with an person or situation has failed to meet our needs, blocked our goals, or fallen short of our expectations. it's what we feel when we've placed our needs, wants, and desires ahead of anyone else's. Then we become frustrated if those around us don't react the way we want them to and we don't get our way.
There are two things we need to keep in balance. First, there is a "righteous" anger that stands up against sin. In Ephesians 4, there is a clear command to be angry over the things that would grieve God's heart. "When you are angry, do not sin" (verse 26). Biblically, two wrongs never equal one right. Even if we become righteously angry over some anger-producing situation in our lives or the lives of others, we are never justified in reacting in a sinful way.
Second, try as we might by logical reason, we will not always be able to avoid an immediate emotion. If someone cuts in front of us on the freeway, our instantaneous reaction may be anger. There's nothing wrong about anger at this point. But when we let anger remain in our lives, when we take its energy and direct it toward another person to hurt them, we move from a normal, healthy feeling to a destructive one.
Apply what Martin Luther used to say to negative thoughts: "You can't keep the birds from flying over your head. . . but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair!" We may not be able to keep anger from cropping up, but we can make a decision to keep it from staying in our lives and poisoning our attitudes.
RELATED BIBLE TEXTS: Psalm 103: 8-9, Ecclesiasties 7-9, Jonah 4:4, I John 2:9-11.
Here are some thoughts from people who have much more graveman in terms of theological and psychological matters than I do:
"Love Is a Decision"
by Gary Smalley and John Trent
Selfish anger is the negative emotion we feel with an person or situation has failed to meet our needs, blocked our goals, or fallen short of our expectations. it's what we feel when we've placed our needs, wants, and desires ahead of anyone else's. Then we become frustrated if those around us don't react the way we want them to and we don't get our way.
There are two things we need to keep in balance. First, there is a "righteous" anger that stands up against sin. In Ephesians 4, there is a clear command to be angry over the things that would grieve God's heart. "When you are angry, do not sin" (verse 26). Biblically, two wrongs never equal one right. Even if we become righteously angry over some anger-producing situation in our lives or the lives of others, we are never justified in reacting in a sinful way.
Second, try as we might by logical reason, we will not always be able to avoid an immediate emotion. If someone cuts in front of us on the freeway, our instantaneous reaction may be anger. There's nothing wrong about anger at this point. But when we let anger remain in our lives, when we take its energy and direct it toward another person to hurt them, we move from a normal, healthy feeling to a destructive one.
Apply what Martin Luther used to say to negative thoughts: "You can't keep the birds from flying over your head. . . but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair!" We may not be able to keep anger from cropping up, but we can make a decision to keep it from staying in our lives and poisoning our attitudes.
RELATED BIBLE TEXTS: Psalm 103: 8-9, Ecclesiasties 7-9, Jonah 4:4, I John 2:9-11.
"Three Steps Forward"
Charles R. Swindoll
Charles R. Swindoll
Anger must have safegaurds (as Paul has so clearly warned): "When you are angry, do not sin and be sure to stop being angry before the end of the day" (Ephesians 4:26). Don't prolong anger into the night. In Paul's day, the setting of the sun was the closing of the day and the beginning of the next. By the end of the day, make sure your anger problem is solved.
I believe this is to be taken very literally. We practice this in our home, perhaps you do in yours. If there have been times of disagreement or anger throughout the day, clear them up by evening. When you lay your head on your pillow, make sure those feelings of anger have been resolved. Be certain there is forgiveness, a clearing out of the consicence. Husbands and wives, don't go to sleep back-to-back. Don't allow yourself the luxury of feeling you can take care of it later on.
Every once in a while a Christian brother or sister tells me . . . , "You know, as I turned in that night, things just didn't settle right. . . I had to get up, turn the light on and make a phone call. . . or get dressed, go over to this person's house and talk with him face to face to clear it up." It's a real encouragement to hear things like that.
That's what Paul was saying. Don't let sin come in by prolonging your anger. There are probably some scars in your life that are there because you didn't solve anger when it occurred. You know, ninety-nine percent of all problems never solve themselves. Never! They just stay on like a burr in the saddle, until a sore is formed and you become diseased.
RELATED BIBLE TEXTS: Psalm 4:4-5, Ecclesiastes 7:9, Jonah 4:4, Matthew 5:22.
(I ran across these quotes at jesusoursaviour.tripod.com/Anger.htm)
Monday, October 4, 2010
Injury and Pardon
A few days ago the peace prayer of St. Francis was going through my mind. I've continued to ruminate on it. Today, I was struck with the thought of sowing pardon where there is injury. I've tended to see that as my bringing a healing salve to others where they have been injured, but today I was thinking about sowing pardon where I am injured.
That is the beginning of being an instrument of peace. When thoughtless, or worse yet, intentionally wounding words are spoken that hit their mark in me, I need God's help to sow pardon to the speaker--right in that moment. "Father, forgive them. They don't realize what they are doing."
It isn't me bestowing my forgiveness on them, although that is a part of the result. It is intercession to the one who really can pardon sin on behalf of the one who has hurt me. It is laying down my urge to retaliate or defend, seeing my assailant with eyes of compassion, and pleading with a merciful God to bring healing to the place of pain from whence the missile was launched.
Help me there, God.
That is the beginning of being an instrument of peace. When thoughtless, or worse yet, intentionally wounding words are spoken that hit their mark in me, I need God's help to sow pardon to the speaker--right in that moment. "Father, forgive them. They don't realize what they are doing."
It isn't me bestowing my forgiveness on them, although that is a part of the result. It is intercession to the one who really can pardon sin on behalf of the one who has hurt me. It is laying down my urge to retaliate or defend, seeing my assailant with eyes of compassion, and pleading with a merciful God to bring healing to the place of pain from whence the missile was launched.
Help me there, God.
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A Heart of Worship
I watched a movie last night that was beautiful. It was an Indian movie called Jahooda Akbar and it was about a Muslim emperor of Hindustan in the 1200s. The thing that impressed me were the worship expressions of the Muslim emperor and his Hindu wife. They were both beautiful. They were expressions I could identify with even though the object of our worship expressions is different.
That made me think about the fact that human beings are made to worship God and it is in worship that we find the full expression of what He has made us to be. I don't know how God works out the various expressions of that. I do know that Jesus said the Father is seeking those who worship Him in spirit and in truth. I have to think that God lets Himself be found by those who truly seek to worship Him in spirit and in truth even if our conception of Him is distorted by our culture or our individual experience. I think that is the challenge of all human beings, to enter into relationship with God that allows us to see God as He is, not as our preconceptions suggest He is.
I think there are Christians who don't worship God in spirit and truth, in essence, they don't know God. I also think there are people who are not Christians who touch the heart of God because they do worship Him in spirit and truth. I don't think that just because one has said a magic prayer at an evangelistic rally, they walk in the kingdom of God and I don't think that just because someone hasn't spoken those words, they aren't part of the kingdom. I don't know where the line is--only God knows that. I do think walking with God is a daily act of submission. A daily seeking of His face. A daily decision to commit your ways to Him. A daily cultivation of staying in His presence, of cultivating an atmosphere in your heart that makes Him feel at home.
Maybe I'm a heritic in this--I don't know. And if I am, I pray that God shows me how He sees it. I do know that I have come to know God through Jesus--it is through his life, death and resurrection that I am able to have the life of God within me. And yes, I do believe that Jesus is God.
I don't know what others experience, but I don't want to be afraid of or threatened by their genuine expression. I don't think God is afraid or threatened by their expression. I think God loves them. I think Jesus died to reconcile them to Himself, just like He did that for me. I would like to know more about the experience of Muslims and people from other faith traditions who really seek to worship God in spirit and in truth. And more from people from other faith traditions who have come to know Jesus.
However it is that God works it out, I know that I have experienced and continue to experience the costly grace of Jesus Christ that has reconciled me with God--that has connected me to Him, to his tender love for me. I want to worship Him as He is--worship Him in spirit and in truth.
That made me think about the fact that human beings are made to worship God and it is in worship that we find the full expression of what He has made us to be. I don't know how God works out the various expressions of that. I do know that Jesus said the Father is seeking those who worship Him in spirit and in truth. I have to think that God lets Himself be found by those who truly seek to worship Him in spirit and in truth even if our conception of Him is distorted by our culture or our individual experience. I think that is the challenge of all human beings, to enter into relationship with God that allows us to see God as He is, not as our preconceptions suggest He is.
I think there are Christians who don't worship God in spirit and truth, in essence, they don't know God. I also think there are people who are not Christians who touch the heart of God because they do worship Him in spirit and truth. I don't think that just because one has said a magic prayer at an evangelistic rally, they walk in the kingdom of God and I don't think that just because someone hasn't spoken those words, they aren't part of the kingdom. I don't know where the line is--only God knows that. I do think walking with God is a daily act of submission. A daily seeking of His face. A daily decision to commit your ways to Him. A daily cultivation of staying in His presence, of cultivating an atmosphere in your heart that makes Him feel at home.
Maybe I'm a heritic in this--I don't know. And if I am, I pray that God shows me how He sees it. I do know that I have come to know God through Jesus--it is through his life, death and resurrection that I am able to have the life of God within me. And yes, I do believe that Jesus is God.
I don't know what others experience, but I don't want to be afraid of or threatened by their genuine expression. I don't think God is afraid or threatened by their expression. I think God loves them. I think Jesus died to reconcile them to Himself, just like He did that for me. I would like to know more about the experience of Muslims and people from other faith traditions who really seek to worship God in spirit and in truth. And more from people from other faith traditions who have come to know Jesus.
However it is that God works it out, I know that I have experienced and continue to experience the costly grace of Jesus Christ that has reconciled me with God--that has connected me to Him, to his tender love for me. I want to worship Him as He is--worship Him in spirit and in truth.
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